With almost a year going by and not a single post, I am officially designated a failure to blog, kind of like my own journal. What makes this so difficult? Maybe a lack of dedication, motivation? Failure to keep up a goal and follow through seems to be a pattern in my life recently. Or most truthfully, what the heck am I am supposed to do now?!! Graduating in April was a great moment for me! My degree was so freakin hard, it felt so good to finish! But now what do I do? I have wanted to sing on Broadway, act on the screen, dance on the stage my whole life...and up till now I never realized that reality is a little different. Or that the dreams need to change with life, marriage, babies etc. Things don't always work out the way you want to, God usually has different plans...which you know, I am okay with, but I have never really figured out a way to be happy any other way, with my career choices that is. Or maybe I just have no idea how to balance making my family happy while pursuing an arts life. Needing to work is another problem I am facing, and the only thing I feel qualified for is teaching, which I enjoy but don't want to do as my #1 career choice....
But ya know it's funny, the more I feel tangled and frustrated, and the more times I read over what I have written, my problems could be way more horrible than not knowing how to follow my dreams. I have a wonderful life! My husband is the best man I have ever met, literally my best friend. I am moving into a nice home with A/C, finally! And a number of talents at my disposal that couldn't have possibly happened if God hadn't given them to me. I have the Gospel, an eternal marriage, my happiness is already here, I am living my happiness and enduring till the end....things could be a lot worse. I am very lucky to have a hard working, understanding husband that gives me the opportunity to even consider doing the things I want to do, what ever they may be. I should honestly shut up and be more grateful! :)
