- Ya know I don't think I'm very good at this whole blogging thing...my last post was in July. Much much and many things have occurred since then, and since I'm not much of a writer this might end up sounding like a journal entry, minus gossip things and comments on crushes on boys...well maybe on one. ;) SO I moved out into a beautiful town home with a friend of mine in September, we were having a great time and just getting through the semester. I learned many things from this girl. We became close and a bit more of each others confidants. She has an amazing soul and from my experiences with her I discovered how to better pray, how to better love, how to better listen to the spirit, and how to have an actual relationship with my Heavenly Father. It's not about asking for blessings and things, I mean it is but President Monson has talked about his communion with God as a RELATIONSHIP. He speaks to him as he would his best friend! Bringing all of your problems to Heavenly Fathers feet is not all we can do. Go to him when you have success, go to him when your sad or depressed, but also when your feeling overwhelmed or over joyed...I don't know why I never truly applied this principle till now but it's amazing!
A very prominent lesson in my life lately has been a lesson in love. Now I'm sorry If any of you feel that any of this is too personal, but I elaborate and tell stories to explain my reasoning.
I've asked many people and wondered what the heck real love is, or how someone actually knows that they love someone in return. Movies and T.V. depict love as some gigantic firecracker that just explodes in one moment with one glance with seemingly uncontrollable desires, or love at first sight which is a big time Disney trait, which I'll admit has been a dream of mine ever since I was a wee little girl. I always thought that I would know right away that I loved a man and would marry him. I would see him in the beginning and feel a big explosion of butterflies and be out of my mind twitter-patted. Then and only then would I just KNOW! ya know?! But that's not at all what it is like. For everyone it is different, so I can't compare my experiences to anyone else's, and for some people it might be fireworks all the time. The only time my fireworks started to happen were when I decided to like him, and even then there were times were we would just be hanging out playing just dance, Ticket to Ride, or just chatting like we were the best of friends. We would tell each other secrets and talk about how dumb boys are, and how weird girls are always. :) Anyway the point...I decided. And once it got to a point far past like but not knowing what love was or whatever the heck I was feeling, I was still closed off and had this giant metal gate up. I went to the Lord and told him that this is what I wanted, I wanted to love but I was still terrified of that prospect and was in a lot of tumult and confusion. So like a good little girl with many priesthood brethren's advise roaming around my mind, I took a trip to the temple. I thought that if I prayed hard enough and sat quietly in the temple that I would get my answer...I didn't. So I walked out of the baptistry and waited up in the lobby, and I started to think of everything that I liked about this gentleman and suddenly the spirit encompassed me and told me that everything was going to be okay...."but what about this....and this.. and this..." "Girl! It's going to be okay, and your going to be just fine. Your doing everything right so you really need to relax! He is a very choice man and he will make you very happy."And then after that walking out of the temple I tripped and fell on my keester, which I think was my roommates and God's way of telling me not to take my self so seriously. :) Anyway ever since then, when I decided that I wasn't going to die or break a heart and I DECIDED to love him, it has grown into a Disney and a somewhat firework love. I don't know how many other girls or guys have problems letting someone in, I assume many, but once you have the desire, just like the gospel, if you have a desire to know the truth, you will! Love isn't something that happens instantly or over night, it takes lots of time, and work!! It really is built on the gospel, friendship, mutual respect, and trust with much room for growth in all areas. That's what I learned about love. And I hope to always keep learning. The Lord knows us, and he knows what we need. Just have faith and hold on! He'll take you on a ride you never dreamed possible.
Rebeckah
